Wow. It’s been months since I’ve blogged. I think the last time I published a post was in April, and even that blog post wasn’t anything to write home about.
Has an event in your life changed your ways immediately and so profoundly that you didn’t even need to think about your reasons for changing something? For the first time that I can remember, that is exactly what happened to me this year. In March, I found out I was pregnant with baby number 3. I will forever feel so guilty about my reaction to seeing that positive on the pregnancy stick. I was consumed with fear like I was a 16 year old girl (okay..nothing like that but hopefully you get my drift). I was afraid what my family was going to think of me for getting pregnant again although I am a married, grown adult with a husband who has a nice career. I was afraid what would happen to my non existant career again if I postponed looking for a job again. I was afraid about my health because I am not exactly what you call in shape. I was afraid about my mental health because I was just tired. I needed a break. I remember thinking, “oh God, we can’t fit 3 kids in our car” due to the carseats.
Yes, a 3rd baby was not off the table. We talked about having a 3rd baby down the road when both children were in school. We knew there would be an age gap. However, having a 3rd baby sounded good for the future after our lives were a bit more calm and financially organized. Last year, I remember feeding my daughter baby food at the table while my son was eating a snack. There was an empty chair and part of me felt like our family wasn’t complete. I laughed it off because I was not in the position or mindset to have another baby.
Ever since I graduated from my master’s program in 2009, I have been unable to secure a job worthy enough for me to leave the home. What I mean by worthy enough is a job that will pay for childcare for 2 children. My degree is in school counseling so my chances of getting some high paying job is not promising; however, if I worked in the school system I would get a decent pay start since I have a master’s degree. Competition is tough around here and applying to school jobs that are 50 miles away just isn’t going to cut it right now with transporting two little ones to daycare. So, I decided to stay home.
Don’t get me wrong. I love being with my children and being home with them. My concern has been that if I kept postponing a job outside of the home, that I would be viewed as “not hirable” or that the school system would want to hire someone fresh out of grad school over someone who has been out a couple of work for a few years. Well, after I saw that positive pregnancy test, two things happened.
1. I realized that I do have stuff to put on my resume. I have been a virtual assistant for a popular website since I graduated from grad school. I also am a substitute teacher for my county. I have also attended conferences since 2009. I DO have things to put on my resume. I recently spoke to someone who said don’t be afraid to put down that you were staying home with your kids during this time either if you have nothing to put on the resume. Future employers want to know what you were doing during gaps of unemployment. Don’t be ashamed to put staying at home with your kids!
2. The most significant thing that happened after I saw that positive pregnancy test is that my worries about jobs, career, money, etc just isn’t worth the worry anymore. Instead of worrying, why not use that worry energy and find ways to generate positive outcomes out of it. I needed to take care of myself. This baby put everything in perspective for me. Worrying about the “what if’s” is just not worth it. This will be left for another blog post, but I can honestly say that we did 100% of what we should have done to prevent having another baby. But for some reason, our prevention methods did not work. The baby is real and is on his or her way.
So how does this relate to blogging? Well, if you haven’t learned by now, many people blog for money. I have several niche websites that I have spent hours creating to make money. In other words, affiliate or internet marketing. My dream was to have some big website. I saw some success with several websites I’ve created, so in 2010 and 2011 I burned countless hours studying marketing on the internet and making micro niche sites. However, I got burnt out. This blog you are reading right now is something I had plans for as well, along with my other websites. However, I just couldn’t do it anymore. I wasn’t seeing the rewards fast enough and stopped blogging because thinking about making money was too stressful.
I am returning to blogging with no expectations of making money. I have other things to worry about right now and fortunately I do have a small VA job so I that helps with $$. I am writing for fun. I love to write/type/journal. I find it therapeutic I do not have a specific goal or content theme for Blissful Homemaking. I am just going to type and run with it. I don’t have my email subscriber list anymore. In fact, as of today, I have zero email subscribers. So please feel free to join my email list. Don’t forget to confirm your email subscription.
Our 3rd baby is due on Christmas Day. I will dedicate other posts to my baby and tell you about our surprise baby.